the birth of Hayes

For starters, my pregnancy with Hayes was so different from with Bennett. I had hardly any nausea, but a lot more physical discomfort, mainly my hips hurting. Thank goodness for chiropractic care - it gave me much needed relief throughout the course of the pregnancy.

Throughout my pregnancy, I read dozens of books on the topic of natural/unmedicated childbirth, as well as listened to podcasts daily on the topic of birth (my two favorites were Birthful and The Birth Hour). It was my goal, even prior to getting pregnant, to have a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). My birth experience with Bennett was quite traumatizing. Because he was breech, we had a scheduled c section. The whole experience was quite unnatural and left me feeling very defeated. I was mad at my body for not being able to birth the baby that I spent nine months growing. In hindsight, I would have been much more educated and requested a gentle cesarean (asking for a clear drape that allows you to see the baby,  having the baby put on my chest immediately, etc.). It was so unnatural having my child whisked away and held by strangers before I ever got to hold him. I knew if I ever was blessed with another baby, I wanted a different birth experience. So I made it my mission with Hayes to become educated on all things birth. I know Nick was so sick for hearing about my newly discovered birth knowledge :)

Early on in my pregnancy, I asked my doctor is she would allow me to go past my due date. I knew in order to have a successful VBAC, the best option would be to go into spontaneous labor versus being induced. She assured me that if everything looked good, that would not be an issue. Also, my due date was May 20th, which was the exact week Nick would be in Helena for his graduation from the IBEW apprenticeship program. After five years, it was his final week that would result in his graduation. So, I could very well be one of the only woman ever pleading/hoping/praying to go PAST my due date. Due to Bennett’s small size, I knew more time in the womb would allow this baby to fatten up, too.



When I reached 40 weeks, my doctor suddenly changed her tune regarding going past due. To make a long story short, after my 40 week appointment, I received a call from St V’s Labor and Delivery verifying my induction for Monday (which would be 41 weeks exactly). I was so upset. That was NOT what my doctor and I discussed at my appointment, In fact, we had scheduled an ultrasound and NST for Wednesday and would come up with a game plan then. It was really upsetting to find out about a scheduled induction from a person processing paperwork at the hospital versus my own doctor. I felt very mislead and hurt at this point. I still trusted my body and my baby to go into labor when the time was right.



Thankfully on Saturday (the 25th), things just felt different. Nick and Bennett and I took a walk in the morning, and I was feeling slower than normal. Then we took a drive to the dump on our gravel road and I felt very uncomfortable. That night, I went to bed around 9:00, but woke up an hour or so later with pretty regular contractions. I had prodromal labor and contractions for a couple weeks prior, but this definitely felt different. I woke Nick up around midnight and told him that I was in early labor, but to go back to sleep and I would wake him if things got more intense. So, I laid on the couch, timing the contractions, trying to rest. I wasn’t able to sleep, due to a combination of excitement and discomfort. I got up and ate some WIlcoxon's chocolate peanut butter ice cream around 3:00 am. I also lost my mucus plug around this time, confirming that this was indeed the real deal. Around 10:00 am, I decided it was time to head to Billings, as the contractions were getting closer together and stronger. We stopped in Laurel for Subway, banana bread at City Brew (one of the few foods Bennett loves), and Walmart for a couple items. Once we got to Billings, I needed to go to the bathroom, so we stopped at Kohls, where we ran into Bennett’s old daycare provider, Renee. That will always be a special memory that Bennett has of the birth, because he was so happy to see her. After that, we went to a playground, where Nick and Bennett played, while I tried to walk/breathe through the contractions.

After the playground, we went to Nick’s parent’s house. Shortly after arriving there, my water broke. I am so thankful for this experience, as it was one thing that I really wanted to experience naturally (don’t ask me why). However, once my water broke, the intensity of contractions really picked up. The only relief I got was when sitting on the toilet. At this point, time gets a little jumbled. I think around 3:30, we headed to the hospital, which was a very uncomfortable car ride. Although I practiced Hypnobirthing every day throughout my pregnancy, I was finding it hard to remain calm and to just focus on my breathing.

Once we arrived at the hospital, the doula we hired met us there. After doing all the required hospital admission steps (urine sample, HEB lock, etc), my doula got me a bath ready. As much as I enjoyed the relief that the water gave, the intensity of the contractions were more than I ever imagined. I don’t know if it was Hayes’s position, the uterine scar from the c section, or just my pain tolerance, but I knew at that point I wanted the epidural. Even though my game plan and goal was an unmedicated labor, that all went out the window with the intensity of the pain. Once I got out of the tub, I threw up in the sink, and had to get another IV put in, since I ripped the other one out in my vomiting spell. Oh I was miserable. Around 6:30, the anesthesiologist, Dr. Bennett, came in and gave me the epidural. Oh my gosh - relief! And it was an amazing epidural. I was still able to move my legs completely, but the intense pain was gone. I was able to enjoy the rest of the birth.

At one point, Hayes’s heart rate dropped and didn’t come back up quickly. They had me get on my hands and knees on the bed, which brought it back up. This was the only time throughout the labor that I thought maybe a VBAC wasn’t going to be in the cards. I was so afraid of having to be rushed into an emergency c section situation. After that incident, though, it was smooth sailing.

Around 10:00 or so, it was time to start pushing. I expected this part of labor to be short, but I pushed and pushed with each contraction until he was born at 11:29. My nurse, Jessie, was so encouraging through this time. She made me feel confident in my body’s ability to birth this baby. It was the hardest and best work I have ever done. The doctor on call, Kyla Carlson, was absolutely amazing. She was encouraging and funny. Throughout my entire pregnancy, I was so worried about not having MY doctor as the one delivering my baby, but it turned out better than I could have ever imagined. I would choose Dr. Carlson again and again. She was just who I needed for my labor and delivery, and I will forever be grateful she is a part of my birth story. The labor and delivery nurses I had were amazing. I will also forever be grateful for Stephanie and Jessie. They were simply delightful - encouraging, kind, and loving. In hindsight, I would not hire the doula, as the nurses and Nick were all I needed and more. I feel as though I was disappointed with the doula by requesting the epidural, and not following through with the planned Hypnobirth. But my doula regret is another story... ;)

Once he was out, he was brought to my chest and we were able to do skin to skin for the first hour. This was a dream come true for me, as I didn’t get that experience with Bennett. Hayes breastfeed for forty minutes and then they took him to weigh, measure, do footprints, etc. I remember feeling very irritated that they were taking so long with him - I just wanted to hold him and never let go. I remember saying to Nick several times, “I did it.” I felt so accomplished. I had my VBAC and I couldn’t be happier with how everything played out. The birth of Hayes has been very healing and redemptive for me.


Other birth tidbits I want to remember:

*Hayes was in a funky position, which caused him to have a pretty large bruise on his head. The cord was wrapped around his neck, which explains what caused some of his heart decels while I was laboring. He swallowed a ton of amniotic fluid, which filled his little tummy up, which caused him a lack of interest in breastfeeding initially. On Monday morning (the 27th), they drained his stomach of all the amniotic fluid, which helped tremendously.

*On Monday night, Nick went to sleep with Bennett at his parents. So, I was alone in my room. The nurse had just come to take Hayes to do all of this 24 hour testing. A resident walked into the room and told me there was an active shooter and to barricade myself into the room. I didn’t listen and went out into the hallway to find Hayes. Until the all clear was given, I stayed in the nurses lounge with Hayes and all the nurses. It ended up being bottle rockets, I guess, but a memorable story nonetheless.

*Nick ordered Jimmy Johns while I was in labor, so after delivering Hayes, I ate that Turkey Tom sandwich and it tasted incredible!

* Mother/newborn nurses are true angels. Postpartum, I was a bleeding, hormonal, exhausted mess. And man those woman treated me with such kindness. I will forever be grateful for Macy and Macy (different nurses, same name), they treated me with such compassion and kindness during my two nights in the hospital.