Life Lately

A handful of thoughtful friends have reached out lately to ask about life out here. So, here is a little snippet into our new normal...

* The beauty of this country literally leaves me speechless a lot of days. It is a frequent occurrence that I pull the car over and take a picture. Bennett has quit asking why we are stopping again. He knows that mama needs another picture. :)

* I thought I would want to come into Billings at least once a week to shop and get a taste of familiar places and faces. However, now that we are out here, I find about every excuse in the book to NOT drive into Billings. I don't miss the traffic. I don't miss the hurried-feel of most stores. I would way prefer to spend a few extra dollars at the local IGA where the cashiers hug my son and offer him treats. It really is a different atmosphere at stores here. People look you in the eye and smile. Learn your name. And if I get desperate and can't get a product locally, Amazon to the rescue! ;)

* Most days I feel pangs of loneliness. The beginning of the school year was especially rough. I truly did miss the excitement of getting my classroom ready, looking forward to meeting a new group of kids, etc. I felt pretty lonely out here, knowing that only 60+ miles away, people close to me were feeling such warmth and human-connection. So, I took a little social media break, wallowed a bit, and the overwhelming feeling of regret and jealousy has mostly subsided.

* I love, love, love my days with Bennett. I love the slower-paced mornings. I love the extra time for snuggles. The days can get long, though. And sometimes I want a break just for a few minutes. I actually feel like I was a bit more patient as a working mom, because of the guilt of being away all day, I was more mindful of being extra patient. Now that we are together all day, every day, I know I am more quick to get irritated or raise my voice.

* It really does feel like a zoo around here at certain moments. Our new Yorkie puppy, Olive, is NAUGHTY. We are struggling with house training (over a month later!). She chews on every and any thing. She is feisty and doesn't listen. She escapes from her harness and crate regularly. Pretty much keeps me on my toes all day. But oh how I love her. She really does bring a lot of joy! The kittens are fun. I've never had cats, so it's been a learning curve for sure (ear mites, litter boxes, etc.). They love my flower beds and the apple trees, so that is the first place we look when we can't find them.

* Speaking of apple trees, we have hundreds and hundreds of apples. And I have baked dozens of apple muffins with maple glaze, which are Nick's favorite apple treat I've created. I have also made five different batches of apple butter, which I think I have perfected now. There have been several times while picking and peeling the apples, that I feel a little like Diana Keaton's character on Baby Boom. :) I am even learning how to can things we've grown, which I feel like would make Nick's grandma Thelma proud.

* Lastly, podcasts have become a saving-grace during my transition time out here. My favorites are Oprah's Super Soul Conversations, Sincerely X (by Ted Talks), and Beautifully Anonymous. Listening to others who struggle with similar obstacles and is refreshing and uplifting. It is important for me to remember we are not meant to go through the trials (and highs) of life alone. There is always hope, always something to be thankful for and beauty and love really are everywhere!

I am going to try to write something once a week now that I feel settled and ready to release some of the ideas floating around in my head. I've got lots of blog topics brewing in my mind that I want to write about (anxiety, baby-fever, self esteem, abandonment, etc), so stay tuned....