With Each Box

With each box I pack at school, I feel lighter. The boxes themselves are literally heavy. Ten years of teaching materials is overwhelming. Yet, with each box I tape shut, a flood of peace washes over me.

Most decisions in my life, I over-anaylze and think to death. I question everything. Yet, leaving my job, which is arguably one of the most drastic things I have ever chosen to do, has left me at peace. I am not questioning whether it is the right choice, because I now on a very deep level that it is. It just feels right.

I am struggling more with packing up things at home. My little green house on Meadowood was the first place that felt like home after my mom died. I spent years moving from house to house, place to place, and when I bought that house (using my mom's life insurance money), I knew I had a stable home all my own. It is where I got married and brought my baby home. I took dozens of wheelbarrows full of rocks and planted my favorite flowers. It has been my safe haven for a decade, and I am struggling moving away from it.

The rational part of me knows that my home is wherever I am with Nick and Bennett. I just desperately hope that I get the same sense of security at the cabin that I do from my green house on Meadowood. I hope that the cabin feels like home and not just like Oscar's old mining cabin. But, home is wherever the heart is, right? And in a month, our home will officially be at the house on the Stillwater! Ahhhhhh!